Jacob,
Mi amorcito lindo <3 Mommy misses you soooooo MUCH. It's 4am on Feb 12, 2012, a Sunday. Your dad is still sleeping and I'm awake just thinking about you. We have gone through a lot with you, you are such a strong little boy you have made it this far. All you need to do now is tolerate your feeds . You can't coordinate how to do all 3 things- suck, swallow and breathe. You know how to suck really good and you LOVE your pacifier. I keep telling you to take it slow when you have your bottle but you want to get all the milk. You scared me yesterday when you were really tired after I bottle fed you your heart rate and O2 came down (about 4 times) every single time something happens to you my heart stops beating. I just LOVE you too much. I want to hold you, love you and protect you and I never ever want you to suffer. I dream of the day that you come home to daddy and to me. That we can have you 24/7. That I can wake up and turn around and you're there. It's so difficult to wake up and not have you by my side. People think I'm crazy when I drive to the NICU at different hours of the day and night but I am crazy.. crazy in love with you... your my son and I want to be there with you FOREVER and Always.
Love, mommy
Wow! that was a year ago and let me just say that he now hates pacifiers lol after the NICU he didn't want it. It's almost 4am right now and I haven't been able to sleep for the last few days, I keep looking at him and just thanking GOD for the blessing he has given me. <3
Jacob started crawling today! I don't really think he likes it, he likes standing up because he likes to grab things from the tv stand or the couches. He is such a troublemaker. He did the cutest thing today.. he came over and wanted me to pick him up, i did and he just smiled and gave me the biggest hug ever! Then he looked at me again smiled/laughed and hugged me again (he did this about 4 times), his daddy came over and he reached out so his dad could grab him and he did the same thing to him. I know it might be something small for some people but it meant the world to me.
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